Tribal Instinct

Come on guys, you gotta start liking my corny jokes. BTW no way in hell I'm explaining this to Pro.

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, "Where the heck are you going"? She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." He says, "Why, what do you need?" She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot."

A guy comes to work speaking in a really hoarse voice.

His buddy asks him what happened to his voice. He relates that he was playing golf, and sliced out of bounds into a pasture. However, he thought he could find his ball and went to look for it. He saw a woman looking for her ball, too. As he passed a cow, he noticed that there was a golf ball stuck in the back end of the cow. He lifted up the cow's tail and called out, "Hey lady, does this look like yours?"

That's when she hit him in the throat with a 5 iron.


I am not explaining this to Pro either.

Or this one .
◦Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?
◦It was closed.

◦How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
◦Step one: Open the door.
Step two: Put the elephant in.
Step three: Close the door
.
◦How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
◦Step one: Open the door.
Step two: Take the elephant out.
Step three: Put the giraffe in.
Step four: Close the door.

◦If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win?
◦The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.

Help Me!
I can't stop myself.
◦What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill?
◦"Here come the elephants up over the hill!"
◦What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill while wearing sunglasses?
◦Nothing. He did not recognize them


◦Why do ducks have flat webbed feet?
◦To stomp out forest fires.
◦Why do elephants have big flat feet?
◦To stomp out burning ducks.

◦What do you have when you have a cow and two ducks?
◦Milk and quackers.